New Year

Today I want to post a message to show you how positive I can feel when the beast in my head calms down for a bit. 

I love my life. 

There. Said it. And it’s true! I don’t think it’s been helpful when engaging with health professionals but it’s honestly how I feel! Life is a massive struggle every day and I’m exhausted all the time. But I love the life I have. 

I am so thankful for my amazing boyfriend, sister and all my family and friends. Those scarce few who know my struggles but also those who continue to bring moments of happiness to my life through our shared experiences, through my enjoyment of their happiness. 

I’m thankful for having a home, a job and people who care about me. I have the freedom to make choices each day and it’s great! A lot of days I’m too burdened by the beast to make the choices I might like to when I’m feeling okay. But that, in itself, is okay!

Since starting fluoxetine, the days where I can feel this positivity and logical assessment of the good things I have going for me, now outweigh the days where I don’t. It’s nice to know the real Sarah is the one who knows, who has reason and logic, who can see the magic that life can offer. It’s so intense when I feel good that I often ‘scrunch’ myself up and giggle and feel tears flowing. I love those moments when I’m in my boyfriend’s arms and just giggling away like a small child. There’s no freer feeling than letting that emotion out. 

I’m actually having a really hard day today at work, and I’m exhausted. But I do love my life. 

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